As we hunt for free ice cream on this glorious holiday, National Ice Cream Day, let us not forget that not all ice cream stories end well. Especially when Chopped‘s involved.
The long-running Food Network show pits four contestants against each other as they compete for a cash prize. They go through three cooking speed rounds, whipping up an appetizer, entree, and dessert using random ingredients provided in a basket — you can get everything from sardines paired with watermelon to mud pie and potato chips.
The dessert round decides the game, and even though there have been more than three dozen seasons of this reality show, contestants still make the mistake of using the ice cream machine.
Stay away from the ice cream machine! The ice cream machine will only bring you sorrow.
One of the following is bound to happen:
You go for the ice cream machine only to be foiled by another contestant who got to it first, and there’s only 10 minutes left before you have to present the dessert and ahhhh why did you want to make ice cream out of fruit cake anyways?
You get to the ice cream machine before your competitor, and breathe a sigh of relief as you begin pouring a hot mixture into the machine. Wait! The ice cream base can’t be hot. It’ll ruin the ice cream. There goes $10,000.
Everything seems to be going well, you’ve managed your time, and you’ve got the ice cream machine all to yourself. You put the ingredients in and move on to doing other stuff, like making a nice boozey sauce to impress the judges. You come back to check on your ice cream, and it’s just soup. It didn’t work. What happened? Noooooo!
This time, ice cream’s looking good. It’s spinning in the machine and has the right consistency. You use a spoon to scoop the ice cream out and oh no, what happened to the spoon? The ice cream machine ate it!
That spoon scenario really happened and is even featured in the show’s “Most Serious Mishaps” video on Facebook.
There are memes dedicated to the ice cream machine and its evil ways. A recurring judge on the show has even admitted Food Network only has one machine for the drama.
“It’s really for creating that level of semi-chaos,” said chef and restauranteur Marcus Samuelsson, according to Food & Wine. “It’s really like cooking on a treadmill. It’s not easy at all.”
No it’s not. Make your life easier and avoid that machine.
I don’t think I’ve ever watched anyone have a favorable outcome when using the ice cream machine on Chopped.
— Say Chels (@renegadewriter) July 11, 2018
You know you’re setting yourself up for failure if your in the final round of chopped and you try to make ice cream
— GABE (@GabeLashley00) July 13, 2018
not listening to tim : project runway :: using the ice cream maker : chopped
— this cannot continue (@woodswake) July 13, 2018
Of all the gods that govern the Chopped kitchen, the Risotto gods are second only to the ice cream gods in terms of cruelty
— Mike Golic Jr (@MGolicJR57) June 6, 2018
chopped contestant: ugh my ice cream is basically soup let’s hope putting it in the freezer for the last 4 minutes will help it solidify !!
— liz (@peachyliiz) July 10, 2018
The ice cream machine on Chopped is bad. I stress whenever a poor soul believes they can beat the odds and impress the judges with a cool, creamy treat, it’s not gonna happen. Make something else!
So on National Ice Cream Day, which, like every year, is on the third Sunday of July, please take my advice future Chopped competitors: Beware the ice cream machine.